Invincible
by darveysecretsanta2018
Summary: While Christmas shopping with Donna, Harvey finds himself face to face with someone from both their pasts; Darvey


**Prompt by ****Ainura Izhanova ( IzhanovaAinura):** (post 9.10; NYC) While Christmas shopping with Donna, Harvey finds himself face to face with someone from both their pasts

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Harvey learned long ago that there was no stopping Donna when she wanted something.

That's how he found himself in the kids' section at Barneys checking out hats, of all things. And hats for babies, at that. She wants something Christmassy for their godchild — something that she won't be able to wear a year from now, probably, because that kid is growing _fast _— and of course, it needs to be fashionable. He's gotta admit he's tired; he's never been one for Christmas shopping and they've had enough in their plates with their second move in just about a year.

It's not that Seattle wasn't good for them — it was fine, and it felt right. It was good to start someplace new and figure out what it was they wanted from now on. In a way, Seattle always felt a little temporary — like a phase of sorts. Working in the clinic gave him new motivation and it gave Donna the freedom to try out the career changes she always wanted to try.

Which is why they accepted an offer to run their own clinic in the East Coast — this time in Boston. It felt right to accept too, only this time it feels more permanent. His brother is there. It's about an hour away from Donna's family. And it's within reasonably driving distance from New York, where most of their friends are. Sure, it had been good to work alongside Mike and Rachel again, but it was different for them; they're still working out where they want to be, personally and professionally. And Harvey and Donna…

Well, things always had a way of happening quickly for them once he finally realized what he wanted, or just when the timing was right. That's what Harvey thinks as he watches Donna peruse through some baby hats, talking to a saleswoman. He's holding both their coats, looking around rather uninterestedly, but when his gaze sets on her it changes. He's just always found her interesting, and seeing her wearing that particular dress, one that is making so evident she's pregnant, makes him smirk. They really thought they'd be able to hide it for a while but it seems like that won't do for a Paulsen-Specter child — visible to the world as soon as they reached the end of the first trimester. The doctor said it's very common to show earlier when it came to twins, and showing Donna really is.

It brings a rather proud smile to his face. The swell under the dress, the glow on her face. He's had so many moments with her in these fourteen years that he can't even count how many times he thought she was the most beautiful woman he's ever seen, but he thinks she keeps trying to top that. Effortlessly.

His gaze moves to her face and he's surprised to find her looking at him. The arch of her eyebrows and expectant look on her face is enough to tell him he's missed something; the smile on her lips is enough to tell him she knows exactly what has him so distracted.

So his eyes widen, and he's about to ask her to repeat whatever she's said when she beats him to it.

"The pink and gray or the pink and pink?" Donna asks, showing him both knitted hats.

They're both simple and small but he's becoming used to shopping for small items. He points to the pink and gray one. Donna gives him a smile. He chose right, then. Another item to go with the already rather long list of presents they've gotten their godchild for her second Christmas.

He reaches for the hat, just because he wants to know if it'll be comfortable — Lucy has been known for taking everything from her head when it annoys her. She's a stubborn little thing, and he can't help but admire that in such a small little person. Hopefully she won't have Louis' childhood traumas to go with the similar temper, and luckily she's taken after Sheila physically.

Not that he ever said those things out loud.

He's not surprised at the rather high price for a knitted hat, but the brand gets him.

"Gucci?" He asks Donna.

"It's never too early for that," she tells him.

"She's fifteen months old, Donna."

"You know Louis, right? She's been wearing this stuff since she left the hospital," Donna says.

She's got a point, and he leaves her to pay for the hat — when he realizes it has nothing Christmassy about it and also realizes he should be getting used to spending a lot of money on baby stuff because they're gonna have two of those in under five months.

Two. In a few months.

In truth, it happened earlier than they thought it would. They had had a few months of enjoying married life when they decided it would be a good time to try for a baby. In under two months, Donna got pregnant — and along with that came the offer to run a clinic in the East Coast. An offer first made to Mike, because he's been in charge for longer, and declined by him and Rachel because they loved Seattle and weren't eager to leave just yet. The pregnancy, however, made Donna want to be closer to family — and him too, honestly. His parents may not be around anymore but he's got a brother and he wants their kids to be used to their uncle and cousins and the grandparents they still have.

Still, Christmas would be done in New York, and thankfully they both kept their apartments; hers is currently rented, and he doesn't think they'll ever go back to living there. It's a matter of space now, and they're gonna need more than just one extra bedroom. His own condo would be rented come March, so this is gonna be a farewell party as well. They're back to living in the city temporarily until their new house in Massachusetts is ready for them; Donna certainly isn't complaining. He knows she's missed shopping in New York City.

They're leaving the kids' section when he spots a rather cute floral dress — red roses and green leaves all around. Clearly for babies. He doesn't know much about sizes but he notices it's for babies that still wear diapers anyway. He points it to Donna.

"This is cute," he says. "Works for Christmas."

Donna frowns. "Lucy already has a Christmas dress, Harvey."

"I'm not talking about Lucy," Harvey says, looking pointedly to her belly.

Donna's eyes soften. There's a smile on her face. "We don't know if they're girls yet."

"They said there's a ninety percent chance," Harvey points out. "Plus you got a feeling."

She sighs, then bites her lip, assessing the little dress. He knows she's loved it. He just knows it.

"We have this same print in your size too," the same saleswoman from before says, catching up with them. "It's a _Dolce & Gabbana. _Really cute for mother and daughter duo. I can tell it would really go with your complexion."

Harvey tried not to roll his eyes at the ass kissing, but Donna simply shakes her head.

"I know it would," she mumbles, deep in thought. "Alright, let me see the adult one."

The girl gives them a bright smile and announces she'll be right back once Donna asks for her size.

"Maybe you should try it on," Harvey suggests.

Donna shakes her head. "No need, I know my size."

"You're not your regular size anymore," he points out.

"I've been the same size my entire adult life, Harvey," Donna says in a warning tone. "Besides, this is for next year."

She traces the fabric of the tiny dress again. It's flowy, sleeveless and cute. He supposes it's comfortable and maybe too warm for December, but it's gonna be for their Christmas at home so he thinks they'll be fine. He can already see it — their two little girls sitting next to each other. Maybe they'll have the same hair color as their mother, or maybe they'll have his eyes or her eyes or even his mother's — the thought makes him swallow a lump in his throat. All he knows is that he can't wait.

"Maybe you'll be pregnant again last year," he says sheepishly, a grin on his face.

Donna gapes at him. "I'm not gonna be pregnant again that soon."

"You never know," he shrugs.

"Harvey, we'll go from being two to being four. I think we'll have our hands full," she laughs.

"I'm just saying you never know," he teases her.

Donna shakes her head, a smile fighting its way to her lips. "You're an idiot," she says, rolling her eyes. "You really have to stop being so smug every time you remember I'm pregnant."

"I can't help it. We did that."

"I'm _still_ doing that," Donna retorts. "You think growing two humans is easy?"

"I definitely don't think it's easy, but you gotta admit I helped a little," Harvey grins. "Come on. You remember it."

"I remember a lot of it," she lowers her voice.

"I'm very thorough, you know that," he arches his eyebrows twice to get his point across.

Donna snorts, but she's unable to reply when the saleswoman returns with the adult sized dress. Donna loves it, he can tell — just by the way her eyes shine slightly when she sees it. He's used to taking her shopping; they did that a lot over the years. It didn't change when they got together and it hasn't changed since getting married. He's never complained about seeing her try on dresses and choose bags; he's certainly not complaining now.

Which is why he tells her to try it on, and why she rolls her eyes but goes anyway. Not before asking for the saleswoman for a bigger size, just in case. He follows her to the fitting rooms, choosing to sit just outside of it, on a rather comfortable couch seat. The girl who's been helping them out disappears to look for another dress, and he catches Donna winking at him before she disappears into the fitting room. He smiles and leans back against the seat, putting the bag with Lucy's extra, not needed present next to him, and reaching for his phone. He goes uninterested through the latest notifications, not really paying attention because he's sure Donna's gonna ask for him to zip her up soon.

"Harvey?"

It's not Donna's voice that calls for him, though — reflex makes him look up, but he'd know that voice anywhere. There's a cringe on his face before his eyes meet hers, and he masks it quickly with indifference, because ultimately that's what he feels.

"Paula," he says quietly.

She looks the same, really. Her hair is in a neat ponytail and she's wearing a heavy coat — underneath it there's a baggy sweater. Her usual attire. Knowing her, she's probably on her way to see a patient, or she'll soon be. He hasn't seen her in over two years, and yet she doesn't seem to have changed.

He's changed, though, and he knows it. Right to his attire — in a weekday in New York he'd have been wearing a Tom Ford suit and he certainly wouldn't have been caught at Barneys in the middle of the afternoon, with his main goal to find a baby hat.

"It's been a minute," she comments.

Harvey nods. "It has."

He watches as she takes him in — the casual clothes, the two coats next to him, the bag from Barneys. She's not stupid — she's probably already figured out he's here with a woman. He personally doesn't care.

"How are you?" She asks tentatively, taking one step closer.

"I'm well," Harvey replies simply. "You?"

Paula nods. "The same, really," she lets out a nervous laugh. "It's good to see you. You do look well."

"Thanks," Harvey says. "Didn't think I'd find you here of all places."

He didn't think of her at all, but that seems obvious to him and impolite to point it out.

"I'm looking for a Christmas present for my nephew," Paula tells him. "My family is visiting this year. What about you?"

Before he can say anything else, a door unlocks from the fitting room, and Donna appears by the doorway — a vision in the Dolce & Gabbana dress. The saleswoman was right, not that he's surprised; he knows Donna isn't. The colors go amazing with her, but she looks a little paler than usual when her eyes set on Paula.

"Paula," Donna says simply, arching her eyebrows.

There's a pause. Paula blinks once, twice.

"Donna, of course. Hello."

"You want me to help zip you up?" He asks before she can reply. He sees from the corner of his eye Paula step back slightly.

Donna's gaze meet his. She's flustered, definitely surprised. "No need, it won't close around the middle."

She doesn't look to the other woman — he doesn't fault her for it. Their history made things complicated between them, and Paula's reaction to Donna didn't make it better.

The dress looks great from the front though. Still, it clings to her body and he can tell she's pregnant. He isn't looking to be sure, but he can feel Paula's gaze on his and Donna's fingers. It's happened before — seeing an ex of either one of them realize they're together and married. No one has ever been surprised before. He suspects most of the people in their lives knew this would happen eventually.

He's only sorry it took him so long to make it happen. The indifference is gone for a second, replaced by anger when he remembers his brief time with Paula. Brief, but poignant. It's not a time he likes to remember.

"That looks _amazing_. Will you want to try it a size bigger?" The saleswoman says as she walks back with the dress.

Donna shakes her head. "I think this one will do. It's for next year anyway."

"And what will be the infant size?" The girl asks.

Donna cringes. "They'll be seven months in December if everything goes well."

The girl nods as if that's everything she has to know about it.

He and Donna share a look before he looks back to Paula, who hasn't moved since the saleswoman showed up.

"I can see that you're well indeed," Paula says with an arch of an eyebrow. "You finally realized what it is that you wanted."

He has nothing to say to that; he's done being analyzed and he definitely didn't like to be manipulated in the past. It's Donna who speaks, though — and he can feel the anger radiating from her, even if she keeps her posture and her features the same.

"I'd say we're doing _very_ _well_, thank you," Donna continues. "Have a good Christmas, Paula."

It's a dismiss if he's ever heard one, and his ex-girlfriend slash therapist walks away with a nod to him and a forced smile on her face. He doesn't bother watching her go; his eyes are only interested in Donna.

"So… you like it?" She asks, obviously not wanting to talk about the obvious.

He smirks. "I love it. I think you should get one for when you're pregnant, even."

She rolls her eyes but the smile is on her lips quickly. "I'm _not_ gonna be pregnant again next year, Harvey."

He lets out a laugh and she goes back to the fitting room shaking her head, the moment forgotten between them. Afterwards, they ask the saleswoman for another item in the same print, simply because they've had an unspoken agreement not to dress the twins the same all the time. They end up buying the tiny dress and an equally cute romper. When the saleswoman frowns at the choice, they mention they're having twins and there's surprise and curiosity in the woman's eyes.

"Well, just by looking at you two I can tell they're gonna look the cutest in the clothes," the young woman says with a smile, and it might just be the sincerest thing she's said since they got here.

He shares a look with Donna.

"They sure will," he confirms.

He can't wait for next Christmas already.

—

In his adult life, Harvey never cared about Christmas.

He never had his place (or office) decorated, and he never spent it with family, because Marcus got their parents to spend it together and he always avoided his mom. The thought of all the lost Christmases between them still pains him, to this day.

It's different with Donna.

Last year her parents came from Connecticut and spent Christmas with them in Seattle — so did Marcus, to his surprise. He hadn't even wanted to invite him, thinking his brother would decline, but Donna insisted and, well… it turns out she was right. Still, the whole thing had been stressful to him because he wasn't used to it, but Donna was and she took it in stride. This year would be a little different, with her parents spending Christmas in Vermont with friends and his brother away on a trip with his kids. It would be their first and last official Christmas in New York, and this time it would be spent surrounded by their work family.

That's still a week away, and between overseeing the decoration of their new house from another state and doing some Christmas shopping, Donna still manages to make him agree to decorate his (their) condo for the holiday. And so, for the second time in his adult life, he's standing around a Christmas tree hanging ornaments.

Ornaments Donna has owned for a while and has already declared she'd buy new ones for next year, because it'll be an important one.

He doesn't say it, but he considers every holiday with her important.

They've had Thai food — from the shitty place because she's been craving it — and he's drinking some wine slowly in her honor because she can't. Even in her sleeping clothes she looks beautiful — from the woolen socks to the blue satin pair of shorts to the old Harvard t-shirt she's stolen from him. It's too big for her, but beginning to stretch around her middle. It makes him smile. It's snowing outside, but the fireplace is lit and that warm smile seems so permanent on her face — he never wants to see it go away.

He's caught when she throws a garland at him.

"You really need to stop it," Donna teases him. "What is wrong with you?"

Harvey laughs and lets the garland fall to the floor. He's in his pajamas too, but less cute than her, of that he's sure.

"There's nothing wrong with me," Harvey says softly, taking a few steps around the tree to reach her. She doesn't avoid him or escape his arms when they settle on her waist. He breathes her in and presses a kiss against her hair.

Donna lets out a low chuckle. "Really? Why do you keep looking at me like the cat who ate the cream?"

"I don't—"

"You do. That big ol' grin of yours," she moves in his arms to face him, touching her nose to his chin.

"I love you," he declares, as if he needs to admit so to both of them suddenly. "Nothing wrong with that."

Donna doesn't fight the smile on her lips as she gives him a kiss. "No. Absolutely nothing," she runs her palms over his chest then pulls away, ready to go back to the Christmas stuff. "Nice save, by the way."

Harvey gives her an annoyed look, then goes back to the garland lost on the floor and throws it her way. "It took minimum effort."

Donna catches the garland and laughs. "I'm sure it did."

"Like loving you is effortless," he continues.

She laughs again. It's the most beautiful sound he's ever heard. "Stop it!"

He laughs too, because he just loves making her do that — snort and make that weird sound from the back of her throat when he's just said something so funny it surprises her. It surprises him too, because making her smile and laugh has to be his mission in life — and it's a much more rewarding one than chasing the world of corporate law.

Damn. He really hasn't missed his old life.

She's shaking her head and looking over a box of ornaments as the laughter dies. Her next words don't surprise him.

"So… are we not talking about that awkward meeting this afternoon?" She says conversationally — a little too casually.

In truth, he had been hoping to not have this conversation, simply because he feels like there's nothing to talk about.

"If you want to," he says instead.

They didn't bring up their past relationships often; having been present to most of them in each other's lives, he's just not one to think about the past, not when he has so much to look forward to in the future. Maybe he wouldn't feel this way about someone else — they even ran into Scottie last year, before moving to Seattle, and he really doesn't want to know the details of that Colombian ex-boyfriend they happened to see at the airport. They had a separate life for personal relationships for twelve years, and he doesn't like to go back to them. He really has all he's ever wanted and more, even.

But Paula… he knows how much that hurt Donna. He knows her reticence to talk about it in the past was a way to protect herself. Sure, they've come a long way from that time — it certainly feels like it's been longer than two years since all that crap happened. He's not proud of it.

"Of all the people to run into, am I right?" Donna shakes her head. "And she totally figured out that we're having twins."

"Does it bother you, that she knows?"

Donna purses her lips. "No, it's not that. I just… I don't like how she looked at me. As if I stole something that was hers."

Harvey frowns; he certainly didn't see it that way, and he's used to men (and women) ogling Donna with their eyes.

"Not today," Donna continues. "I meant… I went to talk to her before I resigned that day, you know?"

Now he's surprised. "You did?"

"I went to her and asked, woman to woman, for her to give me a chance. I apologized to her, and she still didn't— I feel sorry for her nowadays, Harvey," she says. "I feel sorry because it's so clear that she still has her own issues. But I'm still angry she used your own issues and her knowledge of them to try and manipulate you instead of helping you."

"She was a shitty therapist," Harvey bristles. "You were a better one than her, that's for sure. Although you shouldn't have had to be."

She gives him a soft smile. "You're right. I wanted to, though. I was happy to help you. Even if there was a possibility of you never coming to me when you were ready."

He closes the distance between them in two strides. She's holding a glittery red Christmas ornament, shaped like a ball, and there's a fire in her eyes, the kind he sees when she's desperate to fix things.

"I was always yours," he cups her cheek softly with his palm, tilting her face towards him. "I'm yours now and I'd still be yours even if you had gotten with someone else instead of me. I'll be yours until I die and I was yours from the moment we shook hands at that bar. It just took me a while to admit it."

Donna smiles through watery eyes and a slightly red nose.

"I love it when you say this kind of thing," she sighs, leaning into his palm. "Just… seeing her today. It brought some bad memories, that's all. And I'm just so— I'm becoming used to being happy and feeling content with what we have. It's taken some time for me to leave out the feeling that this could be gone in a minute."

He presses his lips against her forehead and wraps his arms around her; she hugs him back and snuggles into the embrace.

"I felt nothing when I saw her," he tells her because it's the truth. "I didn't care about what she had to say because I had nothing to say to her. I made a mistake that year when I went after her, and you know how I feel about mistakes."

He feels Donna chuckle against his chest.

"There was never a choice to make because you have always been my choice, and that's the one thing I'll never regret," he continues. "Thank you for allowing me to choose you. For coming back."

"You're welcome," she says, and he knows she's smiling even though he can't see her face. "You were such an asshole that year."

Harvey laughs. "Yeah, I really was. I'm sorry," she pulls away from him, hazel eyes meeting brown. "You know what I regret, though?"

"What?"

"I regret not coming inside your apartment after you accepted your job back," he admits. "We could have two babies already if that happened."

Donna laughs out loud at that. "Well, we're certainly working on evening out that score. I still can't believe I'm carrying two in here."

He smirks. She rolls her eyes.

"There's that face again. God, you're such a caveman," Donna groans.

"I can't help it. I'm gonna be surrounded by my favorite girls," he confesses. "They're gonna outsmart me every day, I can already tell. I can't wait to see it."

"Well, their dad is a lawyer, after all," Donna teases him, her palms running up to his shoulders.

"And their mom is a know-it-all who actually knows it all," he reminds her. Her eyes twinkle as she looks up at him. "I'm so happy, Donna. You make me so happy."

"Me too, Harvey," she says, her voice cracking a little. "You still make me crazy, though. I can't believe we bought those outfits when we're not a hundred percent sure we are having girls. Jesus."

She smacks his shoulder softly and he brings her a little closer, as close as possible, the swell of her belly between them.

He arches his eyebrows suggestively. "Come on, you said yourself you think they're girls, and the doctor did see number two very well last time. They're identical, and they're girls. Plus, you're crazy about me. Don't even try to deny it."

Donna bites her lip. "I am a little crazy about you."

"A little?"

"A lot, actually."

"I knew it," he teases her, pressing his lips against the corner of her mouth.

"They are gonna look so cute next Christmas."

He smiles against her skin. "And you're gonna look so sexy. Just like you do now."

Donna snorts. "Okay, mister," she gives him a peck on the lips. "Decorating now, smooching later."

"Only smooching?" He asks, the grin still on his lips.

"A lady never tells," she says mysteriously, pulling away from him. "Hey, could you get me some of that Chunky Monkey from the fridge? I can eat while you work."

He groans but it's all a façade; he gets the ice cream and hands it to her as he goes back to decorating; after a few minutes, he goes to her to steal a spoonful or two, and ends up sitting next to her as they share the tub of Chunky Monkey. He thinks that this is exactly what he's always wanted — the two of them, together, sharing mundane stories, not worrying about work and looking forward to what they'll build together in the future. She rests her head on his shoulder, against the couch, and his eyes meet hers. They're twinkling in mischief, a slow smile on her face as she licks her lips. The tub of ice cream is now empty. He didn't get to eat any of the chocolate, as per usual — he got the bananas.

He takes the tub from her and puts it on the coffee table, nudging her closer; she gets the message and makes it even better by straddling his lap, hands resting on his shoulders. The tree behind her is only half done — there are no twinkling lights yet, but it's colorful and living, just like the world outside this condo, with the snowfall, just like her and the babies they are having. He pushes her (his) T-shirt up to feel the roundness of her belly, smooth and firm beneath his palms, and he can admit to himself that he's nervous about this step in their lives, but he feels like he can take anything when he's with her.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" Donna asks, her voice low and soft.

Harvey spreads his fingers over the skin of her lower belly. He can't feel much yet — he knows she does, but he hasn't been able to. Soon.

"Do you remember the night we got together?" He asks in reply.

She nods. "Yeah, of course."

"I didn't even know what I was doing when I got there," he admits, his hands caressing her skin slowly. "I just needed to see you. When you opened the door I held my breath because I was afraid of— I don't know. I was afraid I was too late. I was afraid you didn't want me like I wanted you."

She's holding her breath now. She does that sometimes when he's saying this sort of thing — like the novelty of _them_ has never worn off. He doesn't think it ever will, not for him.

"But when you looked at me, all of that was gone," Harvey continues. "When you took those steps back and I finally stepped forward, I felt like I could do anything. I still feel that way, I've always felt that way when I'm with you, from day one."

He feels her hands move from his shoulders to his neck , trembling slightly.

"You make me feel invincible," he confesses. "I'm afraid now too, because I don't know how to be a father yet. But then I look at you this way, growing them, looking the way you do, I just… feel like we're invincible too."

Donna looks down to hide a smile, and he takes one of the hands from her belly to her chin. Their eyes meet — they're both rather watery. Raw. In love.

"I do look great," Donna shrugs, and he lets out a laugh, meeting her halfway for a kiss.

"I don't look at you like this because of some caveman need I may have for people to know you're carrying my children," he whispers against her lips.

"Maybe a little," she interrupts.

Harvey grins. "Maybe a little," he admits. "I look at you this way because you've made me better, and you make me want to do better. You make me afraid and you make me invincible all at the same time. You're gonna be the best mom to our girls, the best role model they can have. And you make me so damn happy every day."

He's prevented from saying anything else when she lurches forward and kisses him, deeply and quickly, then slowly. He brings her closer and savors the taste of her and decides there have been enough words for today.

They have their entire future to look forward to.


End file.
